On New Love.

This seems to be a theme with these blog lately. I take months off posting something. Then I come back here with a long-winded way of saying, "hey I'm still alive. Shit has changed. All is good. Whatever."

Since the last time I was here, there really has been a lot that has changed. The drama overtaking my life back in February is a thing of the past (save the chapter it still has in my book). While I don't regret any of the events that happened last winter - they helped me grow immensely - I wish I would have moved on faster than I did. I wish I had more foresight. Hey, you live and you learn. I used to say I wasn't one to kiss and tell, but fuck it. I kissed someone (and may have done a lot more with them) and it fucked me up emotionally. It took me months to figure out what I'd done "wrong," come to find out that I didn't do anything wrong to begin with. I just did something a bit stupid. 

But enough of that. 

We've moved on.

Just before New Years last winter, I said that the only "big change" I'd accept in my life this year was falling in love. While it wasn't the love I expected, it's the love I deserve. 

I won't go too much into it, since we are still kind of on the down-low for a couple of reasons, but I'm happy. I'm excited. He treats me the way I know I should be treated, and I love him to pieces. 

I've been in love once before, back when I was still young and had very little experience with relationships and knowing how you're supposed to be treated. Now that I look back on it, I don't quite know why I stayed in that relationship as long as I did. Maybe it was because I didn't like change. But I've experienced so much in the last two years since moving to the city that I can see a red flag coming from a mile away. 

Nowhere to be found with this one.

It's a tad serendipitous, this new love. When was the last time you saw me use that word? Never. I never use that word. But there really isn't any other word to describe what has happened in the last five months. 

I'll stop talking now, if I keep going much longer I'll spill more beans than I'd like. 
But again, this is one of those posts where I tell the few of you that actually read this thing that I'm alive. 

I'm alive. I'm over it. And I'm happy.

Perfect OK

I'm back, friends. I'm back with a vengeance. If you hadn't noticed, I did a little design upgrade to my blog. It's mainly because I own this domain now, and keeping different names for things is more complicated than just remembering my own name. I can't mess up my own name.

I don't feel the need to fill you in on what's happened over these last few months since the last time I made an entry here. But it's a lot. If you really wanna know, feel free to head to my YouTube and Instagram. That's where I update the most often, and I'd rather not get into any dirty details here (and there are dirty details, I'll tell you). Once my book comes out, I promise - you'll know it all.
That's something I will fill you in about - I'm still writing a book. Yes, it's actually happening. I don't have any sort of publisher prospect, but that's because I haven't even tried and I'm only like 10 chapters into this sucker. Trust me, there's a lot more to write about. If this thing is going to print, it's going to be the proudest moment of my life.
Another thing - I got my own apartment. So I'm no longer bouncing around couches or living with my parents anymore. I got my own place, all by myself. It's wonderful. I can wear underwear in the kitchen and masturbate in the living room. My view isn't much more than an alleyway, so I keep my window shades drawn. \
I also officially have a new job. I miss my friends at Lush and Hot Topic, but it's nice to know that they're my friends now rather than my coworkers. Retail wasn't in my heart, and you all know that - so I'm excited for this new chapter.
So everything is good, you guys. I'm happy. I'm safe. My heart's a little sore. But I'm inspired. I'm broke as hell until tomorrow. But I'm not dead.
Song: Perfect OK - Hey Marseilles



A lot has happened.

It's October 29th, and in three days, I will be technically homeless. My lease is up at the end of October and I won't go into too many details about why I'm leaving, but basically this apartment situation has been a hell on earth. I realized this recently when I remembered that all of the fun that I have had this summer and fall so far has been when I've escaped my apartment.

But it's been a learning experience.

Amidst all the craziness that has been the last month, I've learned who my real friends are, and I've learned that I have a huge group of people in Seattle that loves me enough to offer me up their couch. I just have to keep looking at the positives, and I'll keep my head above water.

It turns out that I've had health insurance all along, I've got a decent job offer for after the holidays, and for the first time in a year, no one is at risk of dying. Well, that's because they're already dead, but at least it's just mourning and relief rather than anxiety and uncertainty.

But the biggest positive that's coming out of this is that I'm getting out of the negativity that was this apartment. And this apartment is going to make a great chapter in my book. For real. It's gonna be such an insane chapter. And this pending homelessness will come with more learning experiences as well.

The only reason there is this uncertainty about my living situation is that my parents' house went on the market yesterday. Almost every sign of our lives are wiped from the house, and it's been one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. So there's not even the option of moving home until I find my own place, because home is no longer my home.

I did go check out this great one-bedroom apartment less than a mile from my current apartment, and it's PERFECT. I met with the woman living there, and got my application in to the landlord. Now we wait. WE WAIT.

So that's what's been going on. I'm going to go write a love letter to my house and wallow.


I haven't post anything on this blog in way too long, but there's a good reason for it. I've been living my life, man. I haven't been so preoccupied with the internet, and recording everything and talking about everything to everyone. However, I have had my camera through all of this life-living nonsense, and they say a picture's worth 1000 words, so here goes!

Bellingham, for Libby's birthday.

Capitol Hill, during Pridefest.
(Also sunrise at Madison Park because WHO NEEDS SLEEP?)

West Seattle Summer Fest

Kayaking with the Lushies

Friends 'n booze

And there you go. This is what my Summer has entailed so far. 



I'm still wearing my Sasquatch wristband as we speak, so I'm clearly not over it yet, more than a week after the festival ended. I just love Sasquatch, you guys. 

But today is not for getting emotional - no - it's for #fashion. Why did I put that # there? I don't even know.

So as much as I planned my outfits, some days just called for little changes. 

Day 1:
I was going to bring my green shorts, but alas - I got my period and was mega bloated, so skinny shorts were not happening. So I brought a different pair of shorts.

Shorts: Hot Topic
Top: Topshop
Flannel: Forever 21
Socks: Topshop
Hat: Hot Topic
Shoes: Doc Martens
Necklace: Earthbound Trading Co.
How cool are these lobster socks, though?
My hair was also en pointe that day.

Day 2: Perhaps my favorite oufit.

Top: H&M
Shorts: Thrifted
Socks: Hot Topic?
Shoes: Doc Martens
Necklace: Earthbound Trading Co.

Top: Forever 21
Bralette: Hot Topic
Skirt: Thrifted
Shoes: Doc Martens
and you know where my necklace was from at this point.
I wish you could see my socks though. They had little Sasquatch guys on them.
I was glad I saved my overalls for day 4, because it was the one day that rained, and got quite cold.

Top: Forever 21
Overalls: Old Navy
Shoes: Converse All-Stars
Flower crown: Hot Topic
All these photos, by the way, were taken by my friend and mini-me, Hannah from Dressed Up Ducks.
And on day 3 we were accidental twins.

Which day was your favorite? Did you see me at the festival? Are you going to any music festivals this summer and WHO ARE YOU MOST EXCITED TO SEE? Tell me all the things. Please! I just don't want any of this to go away and I want festivals to be an all-the-time thing.